It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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