is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
