I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
