shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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