Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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