she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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