brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Everclear isn't food dammit
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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