she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I bet he comes in French.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
