I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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