Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
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He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize