So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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