We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
