I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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