I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My dick has a subreddit
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
