i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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