You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
