were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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