Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
