is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
