Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
