When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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