we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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