we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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