he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
