Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize