so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
