I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize