Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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