Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
