Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He shit in the fireplace
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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