apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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