i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize