Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
