i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
