That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
