I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
