What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
