accomplished twins. life is a go
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
