pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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