i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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