Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
