Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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