If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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