Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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