Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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