I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
only if we run a train.
done.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize