Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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