HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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