like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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