I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
