at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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