I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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