There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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