oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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