I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
