Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
