I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
