The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
