Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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