i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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