So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
