Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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