I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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