You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
