she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I had to cum in my sink.
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