I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
